i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
