i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
4 words: hood of his car
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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