I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
