you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
