Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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