Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
