I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
do nipples grow back?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
