Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
