You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
