Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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