It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
