the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
