Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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