He kissed a someone with a penis
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
