I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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