Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
