You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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