I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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