Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
