she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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