Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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