We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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