He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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