ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I should be sponsored by Trojan
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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