you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
