it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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