there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
