I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
