Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
