Don't you send me to vm
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
