I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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