I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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