just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
