I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Randomize
