I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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