He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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