Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
