Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
