there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
