Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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