Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
