bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Barsexuality is the new black.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
worst night to have a conscience
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
