We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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