the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
