btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
