I just made out with a guy for $7.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
