I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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