every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
