Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
