I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
